I don’t understand. Again, I couldnt understand. Have I done something not-so-good?
I felt so alone. 90% portion is missing from my chest. No call, no text, not even a “Hi”. I might looked tough outside – playing, be annoying, debating. But I feel so cold inside. Every night before sleep, tears of fear and thoughts of lone accompany me for my bold slumber.
Maybe, if there were no heavy-big-rocky-rock in between, I would not feel this way. I could just express what I want, doing what I can, meeting whomever I long for. Unfortunate me, I live in “prison-life”. I would be marked ungrateful for expressing what I felt unfair. Banned from meeting my family. No rights to speak. Be blamed for something that I did’nt do. Sad thing about it is, I am a one lone ranger in this rocky walk path.
I just need a hug, and a shoulder to cry on. Is that too much to asked?
Wise man once said, “Design your own life, be a boss for yourself. Because if you don’t, someone will. Well, you know if other people planned for you – NOT MUCH. So never let anybody takes control of your life.”
IF THIS WOULD BE JUST EASY. But I’m so tied up. I think I just need to accept more.
Maybe, I am so longing from where I belong. Maybe there is a chance coming up to me. Maybe someone is keeping an eye on me. I just need to close my eyes and hoping these to happen. Because I can’t hold it for long – the big-lumps-of-missing-someone is getting fuller and bigger.
This yearning for love, I hope it ends.